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October 2014




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Oct. 3rd, 2014



My dad is in the hospital for severe anemia and pneumonia. Any good vibes would be deeply appreciated. Mom still at interim rehab facility and doing well. I need a clone of myself. May wind up losing job for missing work; boss says he understands, take all the time I need, but that may not last.

Thank you guys, sorry again to be a hit-and-run perpetrator on your flist.

Aug. 31st, 2014



Thank you guys for the immensely kind comments. It's been sort of a crazy week and sorry I haven't replied to anything, but I appreciate all of it so much.

The last time my mom was in the hospital -- I think early this year -- I started making a crocheted hippopotamus. I finished it after she was released -- might have already posted this here, no idea.

I brought Fanny (her name is Fanny, the Hipposaurus Giganticus, because 1) she is huge, and 2) she has a terribly voluptuous bottom) to the hospital a couple of days ago, because she's so huggable. And my mom does hug her, and doze with her cheek resting on Fanny's flank as she was when I came in late yesterday evening for a last check of the day. Last night the night nurse told me my mom slept hugging Fanny all night the night before.

This is Fanny:


My mom took a fall yesterday evening, fortunately not injured insofar as we can tell right now. I'm fixing to head up to the hospital, but wanted to post about Fanny. If she gives my mom any comfort at all it will be such a joy for me. She was fun to make, and she's a little bit of me I can give my mom when I'm not physically present.

Aug. 26th, 2014


Hi y'all.

I don't even know if this thing still works. Been forever. But hi, and hope things are going well for everyone.

My mom has dementia.Collapse )

Mar. 17th, 2014


Thank you.

I appreciate the kind replies, y'all, so very much. Today was better, a bit. My dad was feeling better, we had a good day. I went over and put supper together for them, took out their trash, and then came home and worked on my own kitchen, looks very nice. So much has happened since I last was here -- for one good thing, I got a new floor in half my house! Very pretty ceramic tile, makes the whole place look so much better. I've been taking better care of the place, even as my housekeeping person has sort of vanished. Well, she's gone to clean my folks' house a couple of times, but hasn't made it over here. But it's all right -- I'd rather she work on theirs if it has to be one or the other, you know?

Work is work, still kinda crazy but not too awful these days. Have fallen back into crocheting constantly, so there's that. Mostly trying to stay on top of the house, because it is entirely possible I will need to move one of these days, and it's better to get things in order now so it isn't quite the nightmare it could be.

Signed up for a penpal thing. Even got new pens for the occasion, although haven't found any neat stationery yet. Anyone know of any? It just seems so lovely to write -- cursive -- on real paper, and find a neat stamp, address the envelope prettily. And think about someone receiving that, and brightening an afternoon somewhere. I wonder if any fannish communities do letter-writing. Seems very naturally related to me. Except I'm so barely fannish any longer. I voraciously read Avengers fiction, but don't do much else.

I hope y'all are all doing well. If you'd like a penpal, let me know. I have new pens! LOL. And thank you again for the kind words. I can't even say how deeply I appreciate it. Taking it one day at a time right now.

Mar. 16th, 2014


Long time no post.

Things have been up and down here, and I've kind of been hibernating in my spare time, but I'm sorry I've been absent so long. First of the year was my mom back in the hospital for the same stuff, from which she has recovered pretty well now. But my dad has been having trouble lately, and we have to face the prospect of his GI cancer having returned. He's pretty fragile right now, and tonight I've been wrestling with sort of forcing him to go to the ER, but nothing's wrong with his mind, and he doesn't want to go "yet," so I'm holding off, at least tonight.

Anyway, out of the blue, here to ask for any kind thoughts you might have to spare. I think, in my heart of hearts, that this time we will not dodge any bullets. But as they say, trotting out the hoary sayings, there ain't no atheists in foxholes, and even if it is only to wish that his remaining time be as good and pain-free as possible, then that's what I'm asking.

I'm very afraid of life after my dad, in some ways. But I'm grateful to have him as long as I have. It hurts even more to think that he is suffering, or will suffer more.

I don't know what to do. But I kind of do know, I guess, as long as I don't run roughshod over my dad's wishes. He's a smart guy, at 90 as much as anytime before, and he deserves respect.

Really scared.

Jan. 1st, 2014



Here's to a great year for all of us. Much love and many hugs, you guys. Be well, be happy.

Dec. 28th, 2013


Cannot brain today.

Knitters out there -- I had a couple of sets, years ago, of wooden or bamboo needles that were superb. They were also very, very pretty. And when I look at bamboo needles today I swear I don't see them any longer. Do you know which brand of needle I might be thinking of? I cannot locate them here at the house -- it's been several years since I've knitted, but I have a project I'd like to return to after several years, and I really need those needles for it. At least to remember which size I used for previous work.

Not Clover? Maybe not? It just doesn't sound right. These needles would have been purchased in the early to mid-00s. What the heck is wrong with my brain that I cannot remember, I do not know.

Help? TIA.

Found them on Ravelry -- Brittany needles. WHEW.

Dec. 25th, 2013



That may well have been the best meal I've ever prepared. The sauerbraten was pretty much identical to my mom's, back in the day, and it was absolutely scrumptious. But the red cabbage was just as damn good. Not entirely echt, as they say, but who cares when it's this good?

Then we were in dessert land -- oh, the lebkuchen was so good. Fresh and soft, delicious. We had my cakes, too, and B's cookies, and UGH, it was all just ugh. So good.

Wearing some gloves my mom got me for Christmas. I've been trying out various arthritis gloves -- my hands teeter-totter between icy cold and fire-hot, and when they're cold I need something to help, that still lets me type. These tonight seem perfect -- no fingers, so I can type, but deliciously warm from first knuckle down way past my wrists. Soft and comfy.

So inCREDIBLY tired. But worth it, to put on a good feed. Y'all have a good one.

Merry Holidays and Happy Christmas!

Hope y'all are having a great Christmas, if that's what you celebrate, and those who don't do Christmas, have a terrific day!

Knee-deep in cooking here -- we're having German food, although not quite a German Christmas, since we're having Sauerbraten and Rotkohl. Also potato pancakes. My dad is especially fond of German food, and so I'm kinda going all out for that. We have gingerbread, pumpkin tea cake, Mexican wedding cookies and candy from my friend B., and a huge box of Lebkuchen from Germany for dessert.

My cousin brought over a ham yesterday, so if the Sauerbraten doesn't come out, we're covered.

Then Saturday is my dad's 90th birthday, so we're having Bratwurst, Kartoffelsalat and sauerkraut. And more Lebkuchen, because I bought enough for dozens of people. ::wince::

If all comes out well I'll link the recipes. I've started using Pepperplate to organize myself, and it's a terrific little program. Generates a shopping list, which is v. helpful.

I never did get the cookies baked that I had planned. I love Zimtsterne (cinnamon stars -- ground almond meal instead of flour), but just didn't get my shit together in time to make them. But the gingerbread I made is spectacularly good.

My kitchen is a scary place right now. Brrr.

Have a good one, y'all!

Dec. 9th, 2013


enough with the cold

It's 20* out there now and flurrying, and that's warmer than it's been previously. And my fucking arthritis is going insane. Hands today, and I really do think that's the worst pain -- I can grit my teeth through the toe, knee, hip, wrist, but the finger pain seems to make me a crazy person. I will do ANYTHING to ease it. this is the first day I can remember having hot joints in my hands. Knees, toes, yes, but fingers, no.

Enough, genug, basta. But I did find my fur-lined gloves. I can't do shit in them, they're too bulky, but you can bet I'll be wearing them driving back to work.

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